troubled

ugh.. this morning started off weird. my mom called at 6 am waking me up.. asking me why i haven't been going to my morning classes. and then after the whole obligatory future pep talk, she just had to add that my newly bought abercrombie clothes were soon to arrive. -__- she really knows how to lay the guilt thick.

but that's not whats troubling me though. cuz i know i'll go to my classes today.. but it's the fact that she started asking me about her suspicions for someone really close to the family. and to me.. i saw no reason for such suspicions. but i know my mom.. she's sort of like me. Sees the good in everyone. I feel like i'm the only one who inherited that.. a sort of oblivious naivete...

the rest of my siblings and my father especially never see that in other people. they always think people might have some other motive... can't believe that people are capable of selfless good.

so when i hear that from my mom.. it also puts doubt in my mind. makes me doubt the character of the rumored person. makes me wonder about the intensity of the rumor.. makes me wonder how much of it's actually true.. and wonder who started it in the first place

and i fuckin hate it. fuckin doubtul thoughts of nothing but malcontent. and if it won't benefit me in any way .. then i don't want it anywhere near me..

ugh..

anyway! here i am again.. another blogsite. something new for me to work on.. html.. pictures.. color scheme huhuhuhu.. i'll get to all of it someday.. or maybe not? i'm the worl'd biggest procrastinator. right now i'm procrastinating from eating! who does that? LOL anyway.. i'll write another blog soon.. stating my future plans for this blog... adios!