Afraid Of Commitment?

Tyra Banks: ".. because that is like the life of unhappiness. Of always wanting somebody that does not want you. A lot of People say it's fear of commitment. A lot of other issues that you could have."

This really struck a chord. Very interesting. Am I really afraid of commitment? I don't think so.. then what exactly is my issue then? And how can I grow out of it?


I was watching the tyra banks show where the topic was "I hate being gay"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YlBT9E1eZc&NR=1

My opinion.. they only hate themselves cuz they were probably raised to hate other gay people. It could be from the media or from their upbringing. And this conflicts with who they are and confuses them and fucks them up.

Seriously.. SMH

random thoughts in no necessary order cuz it's only a blog and not an essay and this is a long title and i'm fucking sunroot. and what bitch!?

i'm so tired.. my body clock is in school mode and its annoying.. especially when it's a frikkin holiday. grrrrr

i'm so bored! but i don't wanna go out cuz it's probably just gonna be the same old scene and i'll just end up going home smelling like cigarettes and waking up with a beer gut.

i just found out my ex is out. i dont know where. i probably could care less.

earlier hardon and i ate at cafe laguna where a fuckin rat fell from the ceiling and landed on someone's table and ran across the restaurant. the girl was aight.. she was like.. um can you change our plates cuz it just ran across our table.. better yet.. can we change tables? ROFL!

if that was me, hardon and i would probably shriek and demand compensation!

gotta stop spending so much... i think i just broke a new years resolution?

nah i broke two cuz i'm fuckin fat..

ugh i'm lazy!

lol who's reading this?

troubled

ugh.. this morning started off weird. my mom called at 6 am waking me up.. asking me why i haven't been going to my morning classes. and then after the whole obligatory future pep talk, she just had to add that my newly bought abercrombie clothes were soon to arrive. -__- she really knows how to lay the guilt thick.

but that's not whats troubling me though. cuz i know i'll go to my classes today.. but it's the fact that she started asking me about her suspicions for someone really close to the family. and to me.. i saw no reason for such suspicions. but i know my mom.. she's sort of like me. Sees the good in everyone. I feel like i'm the only one who inherited that.. a sort of oblivious naivete...

the rest of my siblings and my father especially never see that in other people. they always think people might have some other motive... can't believe that people are capable of selfless good.

so when i hear that from my mom.. it also puts doubt in my mind. makes me doubt the character of the rumored person. makes me wonder about the intensity of the rumor.. makes me wonder how much of it's actually true.. and wonder who started it in the first place

and i fuckin hate it. fuckin doubtul thoughts of nothing but malcontent. and if it won't benefit me in any way .. then i don't want it anywhere near me..

ugh..

anyway! here i am again.. another blogsite. something new for me to work on.. html.. pictures.. color scheme huhuhuhu.. i'll get to all of it someday.. or maybe not? i'm the worl'd biggest procrastinator. right now i'm procrastinating from eating! who does that? LOL anyway.. i'll write another blog soon.. stating my future plans for this blog... adios!